Tuesday, July 12, 2011

# kids

What kind of example are you setting for your kids?

People always tell me how nice my kids are. I have heard so many times how well behaved, polite and courtesy they are. People always ask what our secret is and I saw there is no secret, the kids act this way because we lead by example and have expectations of them. We set a solid example for them and well the kids seem to follow.
My kids still act like little hellions (just ask my mother in law how Miss O was last week) and they get punished accordingly. Maybe we are hard or mean seeming but the kids react to it by being well behaved most of the time. I know that when I am stressed out, my kids seem to act worst versus when I am in a good mood, I see my kids act better.
I have learned that my actions directly affect how my kids are and they model their behavior after mine. My kids are polite because well I try to be polite (even though it gets harder every day with how people are becoming). I expect lots of myself, so I expect a lot from my kids. I set examples of correct behavior and how I react with them.
As an exercise, think about that thing that annoys you the most about your children. Oddly, it is likely one of your most dominating traits. My husband and I were talking the other day and he told me that our son can irk him more often than our daughter. Why because Mr. L is a mini version of my husband. I see the same looks of intense thought across both of their faces.
I notice that they enjoy similar activities and as Mr. L grows, I believe, they will find so many things in common. Your kid is a reflection of yourself. I too admit at times, I get annoyed with Miss O because she has to do things her way which is totally like me. I have tried hard to work on areas, I know that annoy my husband. I have to work on being more flexible in areas, that I have a hard time being flexible in.
Kids learn by the example you set. I know when I see a kid have a tantrum, that one of the parents must be a hot head. I know this first hand because I was a kid who through tantrums and well my mother (who I love dearly) was one. My Mom and I both worked on it as we have gotten older. She told me many times that she would get upset over things that really didn’t matter as much as she thought. We both have learned to control the tempers and find this is a far better way to be.
I stepped back myself and really evaluated how I dealt with that anger. I admit there are times I blow up in anger but it is pretty rare now. Everyone does it at some point. Another thing is that I didn’t want allow that in my house. I have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior and the kids know it.
Another thing I see often is manners with kids. Overall for many they are lacking. I see kids who have no idea what please and thank you even mean. I think it is important in this day to thank people for doing the right thing and recognize when things are done the right way. I try hard to do this so my kids will and I remind them all the time to thank people for being nice. I think nice people go much further in life than ones who are not.
My kids are not perfect but I have never had anyone tell me they were awful. They have their moments and I notice they usually are at times when they are overwhelmed. When that happens, we try to work with them as much as possible to teach them how to deal when they are in that situation. The kids will react the way you teach them to react when you set a good example.

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