Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 What A Year!

I haven't been on the blog in like six weeks and mostly due to being super busy. First we went to Disney at the start of November, got back to it nearly being Thanksgiving break for the kids, a variety of holiday things, and of course me planning like three different holiday events one of which included about 400 people. 

November and December have been great months for my family and myself but I can't say the same for the first ten months of this year. By the time October hit, honestly I was done. I had Disney to look forward to but it was hard and I felt very bleak. It didn't help getting the flu on my birthday and being bed bound for nearly five days and the hubby being out of town. Truthfully it took all my might to not throw in the towel. Good thing I had my annual Doctor's appointment and well upon discussion with him, I decided that maybe taking something for my anxiety which was at fever pitch would help. 

You bet it did and I think I enjoyed Disney so much more because I wasn't stressed nor did I level stress on the hubby or kids. It was truly a magical experience and after the first ten months, it was well deserved by all of us. 

When I had my accident in January, it honestly changed my life. Slicing three tendons in my hand was a hard injury to bounce back from. Even my doctor told me that I made it through it with flying colors and many give up with this type of injury. I was bound and determined to regain use of my hand and through 14 weeks of intense and I mean tears flowed daily because of pain and feeling of defeat at times, to reagin use of my hand. 

It was the most wonderful thing in April, yes April, when I was finally able to make a full fist. It hurt like hell but it was the most wonderful thing I was able to do after the long months of stretching, exercising and the splints. It felt like every week was a new splint. 

Adding to all of this stress, my poor Mom got a horrible infection in her hip which hospitalized her for over a month. She had to wait six months for a hip replacement which happened back in September. She is finally on the mend after over a year of pain between her double knee replacement in November of 2014, the hip infection, and hip replacement. It was such a relief that she is nearly pain free now and able to walk without assistance. 

Combing the fact that I had a fender bender with the van in April and Matt was in a serious accident in March though walked away with some minor stuff (sore back), it felt like the world might just be against us. It was a tough summer for us as well. I hoped for a turn around and when it finally well it felt like the world was finally lifted off my shoulders. 

It is a hard thing when happiness seems to allude you. You know your life is good but it is hard to see through the dark cloud that surrounds you. I know many will be surprised because I seemed happy on the outside. I guess fake it till you make. Some friends knew I was struggling and I am forever grateful for their friendships while honestly others showed thier true selves which made me realize that they weren't really friends at all. I know that I am not the only one struggling in life because I see so many around me in pain. I have seen more marriages than I like fall apart over the last few years and I struggle daily to make sure mine stays healthy. It should be work because the best things are the things we work for. When it gets easy, than it isn't working. 

I am getting older, my parents are getting older and my children are growing so fast. I feel like I just brought the oldest home and she will be ten in April. The baby is nearly six years old and half way through his kinder year of school. I work hard to try and be in the moment but it is hard with the goings of our daily lives. We need to remember the good times and weather the tough times. I am lucky to have a great partner and children who are there for me if we sink or swim. 

I am looking forward to 2016. It has to be better than 2015 though right now nothing can top our magical vacation. Let's toast to a year of learning and growth because I won't be the person I am today without it. It has taught me to value the simpler things and enjoy the present. 

Here's to wishing everyone a wonderful 2016!

Thanks for stopping by!

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