Wednesday, August 10, 2011

# Macaroni Kid

Mommy Confessions

So I sat down and watched the Today show this morning because they were talking about how us Mom's deal with the everyday as well as confessing our deep down secrets about how we really feel about motherhood.

I thought this was a great piece and am looking forward to more of it over the week. For us Mom's and Dad's too- parenting is a tough job. We often do it with limited means and time. I know that I am not getting it right all the time. I also know that I am at my wits end at lot of the time with these kids.

Motherhood is both what I expected but also at the same time wildly different that I ever imagined. I would never have guess at this age that I would be a stay at home Mom with two kids. Motherhood changes you- for some it is a wonderful change and for others they struggle.

I have to say I think it was a wonderful change and yes at times it is a struggle for me. Yes I wish I had more time for myself. For me this is a 24 hour 7 day a week job.

Last week we were on vacation but honestly it wasn't really a vacation for me. I still had to be a Mom and do all those Mom things so my kids could have a good time. I don't expect a true vacation until the kids are either much older or even out of the house.

There are so many things I would love to once again have since having kids but honestly there are also so many things I have gained since their arrival. Being home with them is wonderful. I really don't have a burning desire to go back to a regular job- for now this is my job.

Yes I wish I could sometimes just pick up and go with out having to lug two kids, and a diaper bag but I know it gets easier (the diaper bag is getting smaller).

Ultimately I work hard at making it look easy. I work the best and most efficient when I feel things are in control. I know my kids aren't perfect but I am constantly working with them to be responsible adults as they grow up. I know that there are things that I lack at and wish so much that I could figure that out but I try hard at not stretching myself to thin with the kids, house, and life in general. I also know that for many this is the biggest battle for Moms.

For me personally, my household is about to have a major transition in the next few weeks when my oldest begins attending school. I admit that I don't cope well with change and would love her to stay home with me but I know that for her going to school is a much better thing. It comes back to me and the control issue.

Basically we are all overworked, stressed out, and stretched to thin. Some more than others. We are all trying to get by and give our kids the best in this life. We both succeed and fail at it with hopes that those failures are minor but also educational while the success don't spoil us to bad.

I love this life but yes I have moments where I would love to trade it in though they are far and few. I look at my kids even when they are at their worst and am glad that they are part of life- yes even when the dare devil is dancing on the kitchen table while juggling knives (okay he hasn't done that yet).

We are all dealing with similar issues. We all struggle and it will eventually work out for you . I know this can't last forever and I try to enjoy them in the moment.

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